Marie Carlson

I’ve been fighting a migraine for a day or two now and earlier it laid me flat. I couldn’t sleep, so I picked up one of the werewolf books I recently acquired, On the Prowl by Karen MacInerney, the second book in her Tales of an Urban Werewolf series. (I haven’t read the first one, Howling at the Moon, but hoped these could stand alone.)

Warning: There will be spoilers for the first two chapters of Prowl.

All I wanted was a fun werewolf story about a female werewolf (as opposed to all the stories about a human woman in love with a male werewolf, which are fine, but not really for me), a quick read to distract me from how bad I felt. What I got was a book that, within the first thirty pages, made me want to throw it across the room.

I am very tired of stories about superficial, judgmental women obsessed with fashion and beauty, but for a good story, I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is a main character who seems to hate all other women.

Many things about the set-up for this book are wonderful: Sophie Garou is a werewolf. She’s a successful business woman (as of Prowl, she’s a partner at a major accounting firm). She lives in Austin, Texas, a fantastic place. From the blurb, I know there will be werewolf pack politics. Within the first couple chapters, I learn there are multiple female werewolves. There are werewolves in a city! I love that.

What I don’t love is the way Sophie judges the women around her.

Sally: Sophie’s “perpetually spandexed assistant” who Sophie would fire but can’t because Sophie’s boss hired her, so Sally is Sophie’s “cross to bear.” Not only dresses in spandex but “smiles tightly” to express her dislike of Sophie and “adjusts her cleavage.” Sophie claims she’s been trying to get her fired or arrested, but now Sophie has the goods to blackmail her and stop it.

Lindsey: Sophie’s best friend who is “a dead ringer for Angelina Jolie, which could have been a problem if she wasn’t such a fabulous friend.” (So glad you decided not to hate her because she’s beautiful, Sophie.)

Sorority Girl: Sophie tells readers about saving her from a werewolf attack. “…some deluded hero instinct made me decide to . . . step in and save her. Even though she had been wearing awful shoes.” (Why deluded hero instinct? Women can’t be heroes? Werewolves can’t be heroes? And way to so magnanimously save her despite her bad shoes.)

Adele: Sophie’s boss at the accounting firm. Not a lot of judgment yet, but she does seem strangely focused on what tablecloths to use at the firm retreat instead of, oh, being the boss at an accounting firm.

Mom: Sophie’s mother. Sophie’s still pretty judgmental toward her, calling her semi-psychotic, but at least it comes across as fondly judgmental, I guess.

Mrs. Gerschwitz: Sophie’s neighbor, who is old and spindly and absent-minded and gets lipstick on her false teeth, THE HORROR.

Teena: Another werewolf. I was excited about that for awhile (Teena is actually the THIRD female werewolf in sixteen pages, which is pretty awesome, even though we haven’t actually met the second one yet, just the aftermath of what she’s done), which might be why this was the part where all my frustrations came together into anger. Sophie judges her left, right, and center: she wears “ill-fitting” and “cheap” clothes, including too dark stockings the “thick, stretchy kind they sold at Wal-Mart” and scuffed shoes that make Sophie say “I finally understood the phrase ‘down at the heel,’” smells weak (which I’d actually be fine with on its own, since there are stronger female werewolves), badly painted nails, the works. Sophie thinks about how she could take her shopping and to the make-counter to fix her, when the woman has actually come to her for help adjusting to being a werewolf. (Another idea which filled me with glee but, so far, has gone nowhere: female werewolves helping each other out.) Then the part which made me want to throw the book. Teena explains that her boyfriend was a werewolf first, but she can’t go to him with her questions because he’s gone, though she’s not sure if he left or if he, like other werewolves in their area, disappeared.

SOPHIE’S RESPONSE: “If he left, I thought, it was probably the Caribbean Bronze hose.”

Because, yeah, a woman dressing in inexpensive clothes not up to your high class standards means her man will leave her.

Miranda: A new associate at Heath’s law firm. (Heath is Sophie’s boyfriend.) Sophie can’t stand the idea of Heath working with her on an important case even though she’s excellent at her job and great in the courtroom because she “looked like a life-sized version of Career-Day Barbie” which is a horrible phrase on so many levels.

I also don’t love the fat hate. I find it hard enough to believe that a werewolf is counting calories enough that she makes sure to get a skinny latte with Splenda just so she can have a blueberry muffin, but then Sophie also hates on Mom’s new boyfriend, Marvin, who is “pool-ball shaped” and “more Dom Deluise than Brad Pitt” so she doesn’t understand how in the world her mother could be attracted to someone who is FAT. Because being FAT is obviously always completely unattractive.

I’m pretty sure race is also going to be problematic and I know class is, just from the way she judges clothes.

All of this from two chapters. TWO CHAPTERS of Sophie judging every woman, frequently on very superficial levels. I’m going to try to finish it. I think the world and the plot has a lot of potential to be awesome. Sophie and her women hating, though, not awesome at all. I hope it gets better.