Archive for » June, 2010 «

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-27
  • Don't forget the partial eclipse this full moon. I will likely miss it, but take a look if you're awake! http://preview.alturl.com/bqsm #
  • Watching The Dark Knight with my father. He's not a fan of Christian Bale as Batman, but he's enjoying the movie. Yay family time. #
  • Tech Guru just painted Dad's deck because there was no rain forecast for days. Now there are thunderstorms rolling in. Good times. #
  • Hee. Dad's critiqued how the police force worked in Gotham and said Batman should have stayed in the comics, where they did things right. #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-20

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-12

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-05
  • RT @deluxvivens "30 LGBT and straight women of color. 2 days. 1 house." http://bit.ly/9x2zqr #
  • Today is National Doughnut Day. May was a pretty horrific month for me & June isn't shaping up to be better, but damn it, doughnuts rock. #
  • @tamarbatavraham Thank you! And also, I totally owe you email and reading material. Life sort of blew up, but I will do that soon. So sorry! #
  • The second draft of this story just took a turn into mental illness territory. I did not expect that, but I think it might work. #amwriting #
  • Thanks for those great #FF @e_d_james1 and @melissalwebb and the #WW @DanMcNeil88 and @DocumentDriven. #

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Writing…Dominant Women, Submissive Men (for Hack Gender)

At one point, I saw a review of Like Tooth and Claw that was pretty negative overall. I’m not linking to the review because the review itself isn’t the point. People should be encouraged to leave honest reviews without feeling like the author will come and yell at them for writing a negative review. However, the review did make me think. When I saw Hack Gender start appearing on Twitter, I decided to finally put down some of my thoughts.

The part of the review that stood out for me was when the reviewer basically said zie couldn’t identify with the characters of my story, “Hunter, Prey,” because the woman was dominant and topped the man and the man was willing to be dominated.

I’ve run into this before, both as a writer but also as a kinky woman, especially as a kinky queer woman who is considered dominant. (Theoretically, I’m a switch, but there are very few people for whom I bottom [so far, exactly one], and I am far more likely to be the top when participating in the kinky community.) When people discuss kink — whether they themselves are kinky or are simply analyzing it from outside — most of the time they assume dominant man and submissive woman.

That is not my kink.

One reason it’s not my kink is that a lot of the time, there is no man involved in my kink. Most of the people I played with were women and they were either bottoms or switches who bottomed for me. And yes, I think there is something beautiful about the women writhing in pleasure-pain.

There is something beautiful about men in the same situation.

But this isn’t about my kink. It’s not about your kink. It’s about the assumptions of people — here, readers, but I think this applies in other situations as well — when addressing something considered unusual. A dominant woman and a man happy to be dominated.

I intentionally wrote Aisha to address some of the things which bother me about paranormal romance — and romance in general. Aisha isn’t a virginal slender young white woman. Aisha has a lot of sex without being in a relationship, she is in her thirties, she is fat, she is black, and she owns a construction company and fights to hold her own space in a very masculine field. At the beginning of the story, Aisha picks up Finn — a stranger — in a bar for an uncomplicated one night stand. (Finn later complicates it.)

She is hard to identify with because she dominates her romantic partner in the story.

Women are not supposed to be dominant. Women are supposed to be taken, not to do the taking themselves. Women are not supposed to go after what they want, and they are certainly not supposed to get off on holding power in a sexual situation. They are not supposed to enjoy denying their partner’s orgasm, especially when the partner is male. They are not supposed to enjoy tying up their partners and beating them.

Women are not supposed to have power, and if they do have power they are certainly not supposed to enjoy it.

This is bullshit.

Edited to Add: It has come to my attention that at the end of this post, it may not be clear that I am expressing anger via sarcastic commentary on what people have told me about women and sexuality. I am a dominant woman who enjoys power and sex and fully support dominant women who enjoy power and sex. I apologize for not saying this clearly.

Contests…Vampire Lumberjacks vs. Werewolf Bootleggers

I’m a fan of Moira Rogers’ writing (and the women who comprise her) (I have a review to finish of one of Moira’s books, actually), and I think this contest is not only fun and entertaining, but a really great way to get people talking about two different characters (or categories of characters).

Disclaimer Text:

This post is a part of Moira Rogers’ Creature Feature Kindle Throwdown Contest. By leaving a (meaningful) comment, you will be entered to win a Kindle from Amazon.com, or an alternate grand prize of $275 to spend at an online book retailer. For a full list of rules and more ways to win, visit the contest page.

I’m on Team Werewolf. Find out more.

I’m sure it surprises no one to know that I’m Team Werewolf. I’m not sure there’s been a time when I wasn’t Team Werewolf, if a Team Werewolf was available. (For example, in The Lost Boys, I’m Team Vampire all the way, but there wasn’t really a Team Werewolf option then.)

In this particular case, I was kind of torn, though. A vampire lumberjack sounds awesome. All that flannel and slamming down of axes and cutting things — hot. (Though I prefer my trees standing tall and still growing.) (That’s what she said.)

However, a werewolf bootlegger — well now. That’s pretty spectacular itself, illicit brewing, sneaking alcohol into secret parties, tommy guns and sepia tones, pinstripe suits and fedoras cocked just so — also hot. Plus I love the way cars and alcohol and secret parties can be combined when it comes to stories about bootleggers. Add to that werewolves and the beast inside, there’s no real contest.

Team Werewolf Bootlegger all the way.

Which team would you join? Why?