Marie Carlson

Today is The Outer Alliance’s Pride Day. The Outer Alliance is a group of Sci-Fi and Fantasy writers coming together as allies for the advocacy of LGBT issues in literature. Its goal is to educate, support, and celebrate LGBT contributions to SFF.

The mission statement: As a member(1) of the Outer Alliance, I advocate for queer speculative fiction and those who create, publish and support it, whatever their sexual orientation and gender identity. I make sure this is reflected in my actions and my work.

Another part of Pride Day is to post an excerpt from one of your projects. I already posted an excerpt from “Like a Thousand Miles of Fire” (part of Bite Me from Torquere Press, available here), so instead have an excerpt from a work in progress.

I’m not going to get this story polished in time to submit it to the Girl Crush anthology, but I do intend to find a home for it someday. Maybe as a novella instead of a short story. It’s about two women in their thirties who have been best friends their whole lives, and who have experienced a shared loss, and who are now falling for each other. It’s set in Hawaii and has surfing and public sex and light bondage, though this section doesn’t really have any of those things.

Excerpt from “Sand, Surf, Sun”(2):

The air was hot and so wet it was practically a solid mass in my lungs. Sweat trickled between my breasts and pooled inside my sports bra. Ostensibly I was just about to head out the door for a run along the beach, but the heat beat me down and left my sleepy and slumped on the couch.

I shifted my weight. It could be a prelude to actually getting up. My legs were damp and stuck to the couch when I moved. Gross. Instead of standing, I tilted back my head and closed my eyes. My thoughts were syrup, thick and dark and slow, and I drifted in that strange space between sleep and wake.

Something cold and wet pressed against my stomach and I shot up off the couch.

Lani grinned down at me. Deep shadows curved under her eyes and tight lines framed the corners of her mouth, marks of the past year and our loss. When she smiled, she was as beautiful as ever, the vivid, vivacious girl I’d known my whole life turned into a strong, phenomenal woman.

“What was that for?” I tried to sound put out, but there was no heat to my words. It was too warm to fight. Besides, she was a delightful distraction. She stood so close to me I could practically feel the skin of her legs against mine. My stomach tightened and I wanted to squirm.

“You looked thirsty, Jessie.” She handed over the bottle of water and widened her stance a little. Now one of her legs pressed against mine. I twisted the cap off the bottle and gulped half of it down. Rivulets of cold liquid slipped down my chin and dripped onto my chest.

When I stopped to breathe and glanced up at her, I found Lani watching me. My nipples went tight and hard. It was from the shock of the cold water, of course it was, and not from the weight of her watching me.

“It’s so hot.” I couldn’t keep the whine out of my voice. I’d lived on this side of the island my whole life but I never adjusted to the heat of summer. Winter was better for me, when the waves kicked up good surfing and I found the warmth delightful.

“Let’s go for a ride then.” She wore most of her thick, dark hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, but pieces near her temple had come loose. She pushed them out of the way with her fingers, tucking them behind her ears.

“Is the top off the Jeep?” It was too hot to be stuck in a closed box, but if it was open, it might be fun. Slightly cooler at least.

“It can be.” She shrugged and glanced at the digital clock on the wall, giving me a good look at the line of her back and her smooth brown skin. Date, time, and temperature filled the face in thick black digital numbers. Triple digit temperature for the fifth day in a row. No wonder I felt like I was melting.

“Okay. Let me get changed and we can go.” I tried to sit up, but my bones were heavy. She laughed when I flopped against the back of the couch and held out both hands. I stared at them a second, at the short fingers and jagged nails, and then I placed my hands in hers. Her skin was rough, callused, and her grip firm. She curled her fingers around mine and she peeled me up off the couch.

We were almost the same height, and our faces were angled toward each other. She was so close I wouldn’t have to lean forward at all to kiss her cheek, to press my lips to the corner of her mouth, to taste the salt of her skin.

I sidestepped and put space between us. Lani smiled at me again and in it there was a lazy insolence which made my toes curl. My breath caught in my throat and my chest tightened. She was reading my mind, I thought, and I couldn’t decide if it was the worst thing in the world or the best.

“I’ll get the Jeep ready.” She stared at me a moment longer and then turned and walked away. I caught myself staring at her ass. Her jean shorts were baggy, but I thought she looked good in them.

I gave myself a good mental shake. I wasn’t gay. Even if I was bisexual – and I wasn’t sure, I’d never even touched a girl with sexual intent – Lani certainly wasn’t the girl for me.

She’d been my best friend as long as I could remember. We were born hours apart in the same hospital and photo albums from my childhood had us together in our cribs and our playpens, seated next to each other in our highchairs, taking our first steps and speaking our first words. There was even a terribly embarrassing photo of the two of us on matching toddler toilets while we were potty training.

It had been the two of us together for thirty-six years. We had pictures to prove it. And in the background of many of them, a little blurry, not the focus of most of the shots, lurked my big brother.

He had been the love of Lani’s life and when he died thirteen months, two weeks, and three days ago, he’d taken her heart with him. I missed him constantly, a low, uncomfortable pressure which made me feel sick and empty, but I couldn’t imagine how much worse it had to be for her.

Which was why I absolutely, positively did not want to fuck my best friend.

(1) I am not yet officially a member, because I am behind on life right now. Joining is on my giant To Do List of Doom, though.

(2) Working title.